


About Gay Clubs And Business Trips

by Chiyala (Shiningangel)



Series: Gratsu Week 2016 [1]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Business Trip, Businessmen, Demisexuality, Gay Bar, M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-11 08:22:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7883758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shiningangel/pseuds/Chiyala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for Gratsu Week 2016, Day 1: <strong>Businessmen AU.</strong></p><p>In which Natsu is a businessman and Gray is a stripper in a gay bar - or... is he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	About Gay Clubs And Business Trips

**Author's Note:**

> I may have gone a bit overboard with this one ._.'
> 
> Like always, a huge thanks to [contour](http://archiveofourown.org/users/contour/pseuds/contour) for beta reading (despite the late hour x.x)

"Come on, Natsu, just this once!"

I sigh. The how many-eth time is this? The tenth in this month? Loke just can't leave me alone. He's really a pain in the ass sometimes.

"No. Geez, you're annoying. Will you ever give up?"

"If you come with me only once, I'll never bother you again. Just try it, what harm could it possibly do?"

I roll my eyes at him, but his smile just grows a bit wider and a bit more pleading. He's also gay but we've established early on that the two of us won't ever be more than friends. We're really close friends despite him also being my direct boss. He's five years older than me, clever and very self-confident. He's been working in this company for about eight years. He's had a boyfriend until about one year ago, but his boyfriend broke up with him because of another man. He’d also been cheating behind his back in the last two months of their relationship. It has taken Loke quite some time to get over him and the betrayal. But now that he's over it, he's been nagging me for almost three months on a nearly daily basis about going to a gay club with him. For some reason he refuses to go alone.

"I just don't want to."

"Pleeease! How about this: If you come with me only once, I'll do the next five presentations for you."

That actually sounds appealing. Much more so than the bribes he's offered me until now (buying me chocolate, inviting me out for lunch, inviting me out for cinema, and so on). I dislike doing presentations, not because I'm bad at them, but because I'm always really nervous before. Loke knows that very well. I crook my head and raise my eyebrow expectantly. Let's see if I can get more out of him. He sighs in defeat.

"Okay. The next ten presentations. Plus I'll take over your coffee duty for five weeks. How about that?"

Well, who could say no to that? Weighing a wasted evening against this offer... Loke finally found the right things to offer. "Fine. When will we go?"

"Tonight. I'll pick you up at eight. And just to be clear, if you dress in jogging trousers and a loose t-shirt, I'm going to kick your ass so that you won't be able to sit for a week."

I purse my lips in a mock-kissing motion, then turn around to leave him alone in his office.

***

The music has stopped and everyone's eyes are on me. What have I done wrong? Is putting money in his pants not the way of showing a stripper that you like him? I like the stripper who's currently pole-dancing on the stage _very_ much. He's beautiful and sexy, all lean muscle, pale skin, raven hair, and beautiful blue eyes. The moment he’d entered the stage it was like I was hit by lightning. He’d come in fully dressed, even wearing a fucking coat like it was winter. Then the music had started and he’d started dancing and _holy shit_ does he know how to dance. He’d taken off his clothes piece by piece while dancing like a god. Just watching him had me drooling. He's only in tight leggings now and I don't really know when I've moved to the front or when I've pulled out a $ 50 note, but when he was at the front edge of the stage, it was an automatic motion, me reaching out for him and trying to slip the note into the front of his leggings. I can hear giggling from somewhere in the room and feel my ears heat. Why hasn't Loke stopped me? Why hadn’t he explained? He must've noticed what I was about to do when I started moving, right? It's my first time being in this bar - in any gay bar, for fuck's sake - and there seem to be some rules on how to behave at strip shows like this. Like, say, _don't put money into his pants_.

The beautiful stripper is smiling at me like he pities me. He's still holding my wrists and thus preventing me from putting the note into his pants.

"I don't want your money, dude. I'm not actually a stripper."

"B- but you've taken off your clothes." Oh god, why can't I just shut up? Another giggle joins in from somewhere behind me.

"I'm never taking them _all_ off. I'm an exotic dancer. It's not working this way."

"S- sorry, I've never been here before..." I can hear laughter now from the audience.

The beautiful not-stripper in front of me is also laughing now. "No shit. Now please sit back and let me do my job, pinkie."

The laughter is growing louder. I'm sure my face is bright red, so I try to hide it as best as possible while making my way back to my place like a beaten dog. Loke isn't laughing, just staring at me wide-eyed. He nudges my shoulder when I sit down next to him and whispers, "Sorry man, I didn't know that you were going to do that. I just thought you'd want to be closer to him."

I don't answer. I feel like all the air was knocked out of my lungs. I just stare at the sexy dancer for the rest of his show and wish I could turn back time. Have I hurt his pride? Probably. I want to apologize.

He gets standing ovations and whistles when he bows and retreats. It's no surprise. I'm pretty sure half the club is enamored with him.

When a few seconds later two men are standing in front of me, I notice just how accurate this assumption is. Their arms are folded before their chests and they're looking down at me accusingly, as if I tried to steal something precious from them. The taller and more bulky one of them is the one who does the talking.

"Hey, pinkie. You'd better give up trying to hook up with our Snowman. He doesn't want this kind of attention. You don't know how many of us already tried to seduce him in any way. It's never working. I suggest you better forget about him."

Are they trying to intimidate me? I might not be as bulky as the man in front of me, but I'm strong as well. But now is not the time to be fighting. The 'Snowman' (a stupid artist's name) will be exiting the club soon, I guess. So I just shrug nonchalantly at them and say, "It's not as if he left any doubt about his feelings towards me and my behavior." I stand up and intend to go head to the exit, but the two men are blocking my way. I roll my eyes. Are they seriously trying to pick a fight? Trying to be as calm and polite as I possibly can, I say, "Excuse me, please. I want to leave."

I ignore Loke's protests about how we just arrived here an hour ago and that this won't count and that I'm being unreasonable. The two men in front of me are smirking at me now, and they step aside, mumbling "wise decision." I make for the door without hesitating.

Loke exits the club a few seconds later, cursing under his breath.

"What the fuck, Natsu? I thought we'd spend a nice evening! I had the impression that you also enjoyed it."

"I did, but obviously I enjoyed it too much."

"And then you just run away like a scaredy-cat?"

"My intention is not to run, but to wait and apologize."

Now Loke looks taken aback. Good. It's not every day that I can surprise him. But there is something else I need to know before the waiting can begin. "Do you know if there is a back entrance somewhere?" Loke looks at me with eyes wide as saucers. What the hell does he think I'm getting at? "For staff members, dude. If there is a back entrance, he'll be using that one, don't you think?"

Loke relaxes. "Ah. Yes, I guess. I don't know, let's check if there is one."

***

The club does have a back entrance, so we’ve been waiting here for a good thirty minutes already. I told Loke he could go back inside and enjoy himself, that there's no need to keep me company. He ignored it and used the time to smoke cigarette after cigarette. Seriously, how can he manage to spend hours on end without smoking at our company?

I'm close to just giving up and forgetting about the incident entirely, when the door creaks and makes me jump. It's him. His hair is slightly tousled and damp. He's taken a shower after his show. Fuck, he's sexy. My breath catches in my throat as he sees us standing here, but he just rolls his eyes and walks past us. Loke rams his elbow into my side and makes a _'what are you doing, you idiot?'_ -face at me. Right. I need to actually open my mouth to apologize. But he's already a good ten steps away from us and getting more by the second. Loke gives me a shove towards him and that's all it takes for me to start running after him. I grip his shoulder when I catch up with him a few seconds later. He turns around and looks at me with irritation. God, his face is so beautiful.

"What do you want, pinkie?"

"My name is Natsu, not pinkie!"

He rolls his eyes. "Whatever. What do you want?"

"I want to apologize for earlier. I... I'm sorry if I offended you."

"Yes, you did. Is that all?"

"Uh... do you accept it?"

He looks at me warily. "No. Let me go now."

I feel my chest tighten at his cold-heartedness. Maybe this is the reason for his artist's name? But I won't give up so easily. I pull my shoulders back and raise my chin a bit.

"I mean it. I'm really sorry. Please forgive my rude behavior. It won't ever happen again."

He snorts. "You better make sure it doesn't." And with that, he pulls himself free of my grip and turns to leave.

I can't leave it at that. So I blurt out, "Your performance was really good."

He turns his head just slightly so I can see his grin. He's not really looking at me. "I know." And then he leaves and I'm standing there all dressed up with nowhere to go. My heart is beating heavily and all I can think of is that beautiful pale face with midnight blue eyes that are staring at me disparagingly. Well, shit.

I jump at the feel of a hand on my shoulder. "Hey, relax, it's just me. What did your crush say?"

I turn around sharply to face Loke. "He's not my _crush_ ," I try defending myself, but feel my face heat.

"Yeah, right. Oh, I'm Santa Clause by the way. Nice to meet you." He stretches out his hand as if waiting for me to shake it.

I glare at him and knock his hand away. "Fuck you!"

***

I don't know how I let this become a habit of mine, but it is now. The shows of the 'Snowman' are three times per week, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evening. I always go, alone or with Loke, I watch the show, I wait outside of the back entrance for him for ten to thirty minutes, and then I try to talk with him when he emerges. Loke calls it my 'ten seconds of embarrassing myself'. He's kind of right. I always say some ridiculous things to him while he's doing his best to ignore me and get away from me as fast as possible. He doesn't say much. Once he said, "Dancing in a gay club doesn't make me gay, you know." And another time he said, "Go back to the clubs you frequented before you came here for the first time and just leave me alone." I tried to tell him that I've never been to any other club before this, but he just waved a hand over his shoulder and said, "not interested," and stalked off.

I've been on a business trip this week and thus couldn't visit him on Monday and Wednesday. Thankfully the flight back was early enough so that I could come to the club tonight. I'm standing here now, waiting for him to exit. I'm nervous, like I always am. Today Loke didn't come with me. He always feels sick on airplanes, the poor sod. He's probably in bed right now or puking into his toilet.

The door opens and the sound snaps me out of my thoughts. When my eyes fall upon his figure, my stomach flutters and my heart skips a beat. I don't know anything about this guy except that he's very fit and his dancing skills are far above average, yet my heart keeps reacting to him this way. It's infuriating, but there's no helping it. I'm drawn to him like a fly is drawn to light.

He freezes when he sees me standing here. His eyes narrow at me. "Oh? I thought you'd finally given up?" Well, that's progress. He's neither ignoring me nor walking past me. He's actually standing there, facing me and _talking to me_.

"There's no way I could give up." Suddenly feeling smug, I add, "Did you miss me?" with a cocky smile.

"Tch. I was happy when I thought I didn't need to see you ever again. Not many people can make me happy, so you should feel honored." He glares daggers at me and then starts to move. He'll just walk away from me again, like he always did the past six weeks. But this time will be different. It's time to be more courageous.

I reach out, grab his wrist and push him against the outer wall of the club, my hands pining his wrists against the wall on either side of his head. He stares right into my eyes, his face contorted into a mask of horror. What does he think I'm about to do? Does he think I'll try to kiss him? I won't, even though it's tempting. He doesn't want me to, and I respect his boundaries, even if I might seem like a total asshole to him. At least I've got his full attention now.

"Why are you always like that? Can't you just accept my apology? What did I do for you to treat me like shit?"

"I'm not interested in you, is all I'm trying to convey. I once tried to be nice to everybody who's tried to hook up with me, but they would never leave me alone anymore. If I forgave you, would you stop bothering me?"

"I..." My heart is hammering heavily in my chest. Could I? I don't think I could ever forget about him. If he'd just forgiven me that first evening instead of acting like an asshole, I would never have come here again.

 _No. No, that's not true._ Shit. No, indeed, that isn't true. I'm so pathetic. What should I tell him now? He's completely right. I'm the worst. He clearly doesn't want my attention and I'm making him uncomfortable. I'm behaving like a goddamn stalker. I have to stop this. I just _have to_.

I take a step back and release him. I can only imagine my expression right now must be shocked and self-despising. "I'm so sorry. Sorry for bothering you." I take another few steps back and stumble over a curb. I land on my ass and it hurts but that doesn't matter. I deserve it. And I sure as hell don't deserve the hand that he's stretching out to me now. He looks at me expectantly so I take it and let myself be pulled to my feet.

It's this moment when it happens.

He smiles at me. Really, truly, honestly smiles at me.

My world stops turning for a second. All I can do is stand there and look at him. Everything around us has faded, it's just him and me and my heavy heartbeat.

He turns around a second later and waves his right hand over his shoulder while walking away. Only when he's turned around the corner do I notice that I've stopped breathing altogether and inhale deeply. I stand there a few minutes motionless, still staring at the corner where I saw his retreating form for the last time. I've already made my decision to not come here again. It breaks me inside, but it's the only thing I can do for him.

I'm still standing here ten minutes later when a female bartender taps my shoulder carefully. "Are you alright, sir?"

I try to focus on her, but my vision is blurry. I'm crying. My cheeks are wet and my eyes sting. I must've been crying a long time already. I haven't noticed at all. I blink rapidly, and when my vision is somewhat clear again, I force a smile on my face as I look her in the eyes. "Yes, I'm okay."

***

It's been seventeen days and I haven't been to the club even once since then. Loke says I'm being gloomy and insufferable, but I don't care. I'm struggling to cope with my stupid feelings. It's not working, obviously, but I haven't broken the silent promise I've given the 'Snowman'.

Today's Monday and we're getting a new coworker today. He's a freshman, Loke had told me. He's just finished university three weeks ago, at the end of July. I'm assigned to be his senior, to show him around, to break him in. He's going to be under my care in the next three to four months, depending on his skills and how quick he's on the catch-up. I get along with nearly all people, so it should be fine. It's my first time doing this, though, so naturally, I'm a bit nervous. I hope he's not some creepy guy.

There's a knock on my office door. I sit a bit straighter, call "Come in!", and prepare to meet our new employee.

The door opens and reveals a person. In that moment I doubt my sanity because there's the 'Snowman' standing at my door, wearing a suit and a tie, his hair standing off in all directions although it looks like he's been trying to tame it with hair gel. I blink a few times incredulously, but he's still standing there, gaping at me.

He's the first to find his voice again. "Uh. Are you Mr. Dragneel?"

"Yes. I'm Natsu Dragneel." Surprisingly, my voice is steady.

He's standing there awkwardly, like he doesn't know what to do next.

"And you are...?"

Slowly, he makes his way over to my desk and stops in front of it. He stretches out his hand and I stand up and shake it. "I'm Gray Fullbuster. I'm working here starting today."

***

After the first few awkward hours of trying to ignore what had happened between us in the past, Gray had hit the tabletop with his fist and announced that we needed to talk about it. So we had. He'd made clear that he wasn't exactly comfortable with our situation but that he wanted us to get along or he would quit right away. I think his exact words were, "I've been studying so hard to get a job that I actually like. If I don't get along with my coworkers, I'll just apply at other companies until I get a job where I do get along with my coworkers." I'd apologized for my behavior for the umpteenth time and assured him that I, too, wanted to get along with him. He'd looked at me warily and I'd known exactly what he was playing at, so I'd assured him that I wouldn't try anything on him. It had broken me apart once again, but what else could I have done? I didn't want him to quit. I'd just accepted that I'd lost him probably forever, and then suddenly I found myself being given a second chance. There was no way I would ruin that, even if the two of us would just forever be coworkers and nothing more. Anything was better than losing him completely. He'd said that it was all fine if I kept my promise and smiled at me again, and it was the second time in my life that I felt that too strong pull in my heart.

Now, a good two months later, he's already learned much from me. We're really getting along astoundingly well. In the first week, we’d been a bit awkward around each other, but then we noticed that our sense of humor was quite similar, and since then, teaching him and working with him has been really fun. Instead of being nervous every morning before work, I started looking forward to work and meeting him.

We've gotten closer and I like to think that we're on the brink of becoming friends. Or maybe we already are friends. He'd told me that the job for the gay club had been really well-paid and he'd done it just to cover the fees of his university. He quit the job once he received the first salary from our company. We also laughed about my behavior on the day we first met. I told him that I hadn't gone to any gay clubs before that and that it was Loke's fault for dragging me there. I started calling him 'stripper' and 'ice block' and he laughed about it. It's really nice being around him.

The only thing that hasn't changed are my feelings towards him. Or maybe they have - they've gotten even more intense with every new bit of information I learn about him. I am hiding them well, or so I thought. The current situation gives me reason to believe that I haven't been able to hide them as well I thought I was.

"Please check again, there must be a mistake." Gray is leaning against the reception desk and the woman behind it is nervously fumbling with her reservation book.

"I'm sorry, Sir, but there's no mistake. Here, please see this." She turns her monitor so that Gray can read the email that's currently open. "A woman called 'Lucy Heartfilia' booked only one room with a double bed for the two of you."

I sigh. This can't be true. This meddling girl! I like her, but this was unnecessary of her. She booked this hotel over a month ago, I'm sure she still had the choice between two single rooms and one double room. Or maybe even two double rooms if there were no single rooms available. Usually our company isn't that stingy.

"Can't we still change the booking? Is there another room available?"

She looks at him apologetically. "I'm sorry, but our hotel is booked out." Gray snorts. I feel sympathy for that poor woman. She starts stammering. "I- I'm sorry, Sir. We'll deliver a bottle of champagne to your room i- in the evening as an apology." She bows and I can see a drop of sweat forming on her forehead.

Gray sighs and finally gives in. He takes the keys for our room and lets the woman explain how to get there.

We climb the stairs next to the reception in silence.

***

We haven't spoken much since we've settled into our hotel room. The bottle of champagne was delivered at seven p.m. Gray has opened it silently and poured the both of us a glass. We clinked glasses and drank in silence. Now we're both sitting on our respective side of the bed, clinging to our second glass of champagne, looking anywhere but at each other. I already feel a slight buzz from the alcohol. I'm not used to drinking. Maybe this is bad. Maybe I should stop drinking. I know how my reaction to alcohol is. I get careless. I say things I would never say normally. I become braver than I am sober. Though 'brave' is just a nice way to say 'stupid'. With Gray sleeping in the same bed as me and me being drunk, or at least tipsy, I just know this is not going to turn out well. I should stop drinking. I know that. Instead, I lift my glass and take a huge gulp. I finally find the courage to look over to him and find that his face is a bit flushed. He's staring at the ceiling.

"Gray... I've got nothing to do with this, I swear," I say finally. It's true that I fear that he might blame me for this situation. That he thinks I've somehow arranged this.

He slowly turns his head down to look at me. "I know. You've promised and you're not the type to break your promises." His look is unreadable. I think it's just my imagination and my fuzziness trying to convince me that his look is a bit sad. But he believes me and that is all that matters right now. He trusts me. A warm feeling spreads inside my belly. If my face is a bit red, I can blame that on the alcohol if he asks me about it.

We're drinking the rest of our second glass and the third glass in silence. The third one isn’t that full, since the bottle was already nearly empty after the second round. My head is spinning pleasantly when I finish the last bit of my champagne. My heartbeat is elevated and I know I'm so close to doing something really stupid that can't be fixed later. But then Gray takes the empty glass out of my hand and urges me on to brush my teeth and get ready for bed. So I comply wordlessly.

When I come back from the bathroom, he's just sitting on the bed cross-legged and staring at his blanket. I ask him if everything's okay and he snaps out of it. He looks at me in wonder, as if he sees me clearly for the first time. He's drunk and maybe a bit confused on how to behave in such a situation. It lasts only a short time. He breaks the eye contact quickly and struggles to get to his feet. He pushes past me into the bathroom and slams the door shut. The _bang_ makes me jump and I wonder if I've done something wrong. I decide not to think about it in my current state. I'm over-dramatic when drunk.

We fall asleep without having said another word.

***

I wake up with a small headache, but when I turn over to get up, I find a paracetamol and a glass of water on my bedside table. Gray's already awake and dressed in a suit. I don't fail to notice how sexy he looks in a suit - for the hundredth or so time. He's sitting at the small table in our room and re-reading the script for the presentation he needs to hold today. Is he nervous? It's his first presentation since he's started working after all. Should I ask? I know how to deal with buck fever. I could give him advice.

He looks up and notices that I'm awake. He blushes... What? His cheeks are definitely a shade redder than they were a second before. He's blushing. Because of me. What the-

"Good morning. I would've woken you up now. You've overslept, idiot. I'll be waiting in the lobby. Hurry and get ready." He's out of the room before I can say more than "okay."

We're not _that_ late, but he's always over-punctual. He's getting nervous we may have less than half an hour buffer. Nevertheless, I hurry to get ready.

A good ten minutes later, I descend the stairs that lead to the lobby and the reception desk. I'm just before the last corner when I hear voices that make me stop short in my tracks. One of them is Gray's voice.

"- so now we have another free room. If you want, one of you can move-"

"No, it's okay. We've already settled for one room."

"Are you sure? Our personnel can take care of carrying the luggage over to the other room."

"No, really. It's okay. We're fine with one room."

"Alright. Again, we're extremely sorry for the circumstances."

"No problem." I can practically hear him smile. What the fuck is happening here? Yesterday he was pissed off about having to sleep in the same room as me and now he's refusing a second room?

I decide to think about it later - now we've got a meeting to hold. I straighten my posture and put on my usual smile before descending the last few stairs.

***

Our room is wrapped in darkness and has been for twenty minutes already and I can't seem to fall asleep. My thoughts won't let me relax. Today was a good day full of events. First the overheard conversation in the morning. Then Gray's presentation, which was perfect and the potential customers were enthusiastic about it. It's just that during the majority of the presentation he was looking at me instead of any of the employees of the other company, like he should have. It was like he was trying to impress _me_ , not our potential customers. And then there was the dinner with some of the engineers of the other company. We went to a Japanese restaurant, with low tables and cushions on the floor instead of chairs. Gray sat next to me, and as the evening went on, he slid closer and closer to me. At one point his knee brushed mine and I expected him to jerk away from me, but he didn't. He left his knee exactly where it was, touching mine just slightly. He didn't look my way, though. He was chit chatting with the other men. He seemed so comfortable with the whole situation that I thought he was born to be a sales engineer, when his knee interrupted my thoughts momentarily. He _moved_ his knee just a bit against mine. He slid even closer so that a part of our thighs were also touching. I was rendered completely useless the rest of the evening. Whenever a question was directed my way, I needed too much time to understand that I was being addressed, so they eventually ignored me completely and focused only on Gray. Not that I minded.

I'm not sure if Gray's still awake, but judging from his elevated breath, I'd say he is. We haven't talked about dinner or the intimacy of what happened between us. We've just acted like nothing unusual had happened. Maybe that was even true for him. Maybe he hadn't noticed at all what he'd done. Maybe he’d just been searching for some kind of reassurance and had done it instinctively. Maybe it didn’t mean anything at all to Gray, maybe-

"Natsu. You're hyperventilating."

Gray props up on his elbow, facing me. He pulls my blanket down a bit and puts his hand on my chest. His hand is cold and the touch startles me. Just then I notice that he's right - my breath is ragged and my head is spinning. He shifts closer and talks to me in a soothing voice.

"Breathe in the same rhythm as me. Slowly." He takes my hand and presses it against his own chest. He's making sure to move his chest as much as possible when breathing.

"Concentrate on my breathing. In-" he takes a deep breath- "and out."

I follow his instructions and soon my breath evens out. He's still pressing my flat hand against his chest and I notice with a start that his heart is beating heavily and very quickly. I wonder if I should mention it, but then he lets go of my wrist, lifts my blanket and shifts even closer to me - so close that his upper body is pressed against my side. He's still supporting his weight on his right elbow, and at the same time his right hand is caressing my hair. His left hand has moved to my chest again and is now resting palm-down over my rapidly beating heart. I can barely make out his face in the dimly lit room. The only thing I know is that his face comes closer.

"Don't hyperventilate again," he whispers into my ear. A second later his lips are on mine. They're so soft and warm.

Is this really happening? How did it come to this? Why is he kissing me? My head spins with all the uncertainty and unasked questions, but then he's moving his lips against mine and my mind blanks out. All I can do right now is _feel_. I can't hold back the embarrassing whimper that leaves my throat. I can feel him smile against my lips, and then he's intensifying the kiss. He pushes his body closer to mine and his tongue pokes against my lips. I let him in and he takes full advantage without hesitating. The kiss is hot and wet, and has me squirming and writhing in no time at all.

He's not taking it slow, so there's no reason for me to hold back either. I bring my right hand to his ass and pull him closer, preferably on me. It doesn't take any effort at all, since he's already scrambling onto me, but the covers keep getting in the way. He breaks the kiss and kicks my blanket off our bed, then lies down on me fully. I wrap my arms around his waist and then we're kissing again. I notice I'm not the only one who's turned on. His hard cock is pressing against mine through some layers of fabric. He's grinding his hips slowly and the friction makes me moan. He uses the opportunity to push his tongue inside my mouth. My hands find themselves cupping his buttocks. He moans at the contact, and I can't control myself any longer.

"Gray, please. I want you... so badly."

"I know. I'll give you what you want."

Gray rolls over to his side again, then takes something from a drawer of his nightstand and crawls back to me. He doesn't lay down on me again; instead he instructs me to lift my hips, taking off my pajama bottoms and boxers without preamble when I comply. I'm completely naked now. I wonder what kind of expression he's wearing right now. I'd like to just turn on the lights and see for myself, but I'm not sure if he's comfortable with that. All coherent thoughts are banned from my mind a mere second later when he leans down and licks a stripe over my frenulum. In lack of anything else to do with them, I put my hands on the back of his head, just slightly, caressing his hair and showing him that I like very much what he's doing. He swipes his tongue around the tip, then wraps his lips around it and takes my cock deep into his mouth. I'm moaning and writhing uncontrollably as he bobs his head up and down with abandon.

"Ahh, Gray! If you don't stop, I'll come s- soon."

I think I should be given an award that I haven't come yet and he's already been giving me a blowjob for a solid minute- or something like that. However, he stops after swirling his tongue around my tip a few times, and releases my cock with a wet _plop_. He crouches between my legs and pushes my thighs apart, so that he has free access to my asshole. So he wants to top me. I shiver just at the thought of his penis inside me. _God, yes, please._ I try to make out his actions in the semi-darkness. Why can't the moon be brighter? I want to see him.

"Gray...?"

He looks up at me, but I can see neither his eyes nor his expression. "Yes, Natsu?"

"Is it okay if I turn on the lights?"

Gray is hesitating. My heart sinks. I shouldn't have asked. I open my mouth to take it back and apologize for bringing it up, but then he says "okay", but it sounds a bit embarrassed and hesitant.

I sit up and pull him into a half hug, as much as the position allows us to. I run my hands soothingly over his back. "Sorry, we don't have to. Let's leave the lights out, okay?"

Gray hesitates again, but then nods. He pushes me back against the mattress, gives me a peck on my lips and says in a seductive voice, "Just close your eyes and enjoy." I don't need to be told twice. I close my eyes and relax. I can hear the rustling sound of fabric - he's probably taking his pants off. Then a sound of a bottle being uncapped and then a squeezing sound. My heart beats rapidly in anticipation. Then I can feel a lubed finger circle my entrance, massaging the tight muscle ring before pushing in slowly. My hips buck upwards, and a strangled sound leaves my throat. When he brushes my prostate, I see stars and I can't stop myself from crying out, my hands grabbing the sheets tightly in an attempt to ground myself. 

He's not taking it slow, but still being gentle and taking care of not hurting me. Soon he's got three fingers inside me, scissoring me, making me beg for more.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, please, _please!_ "

"Please what?" I can hear him smirk. Jerk.

"Please, Gray, fuck me already."

Oh what I would give to see his face now. Judging by the sound he's making, he's probably just as lost as I am. I can hear him tearing open a condom packet. Anticipation is making me shiver. I can barely keep myself from urging him on, and when I finally feel his lubed cock press against my entrance, I let out a long moan. He is right above me now, supporting his weight on his hands beside my head.

"Natsu..." he breathes hotly against my neck and then pushes inside. It's so new and hot and intimate, and _god_ it feels so fucking good to be connected to Gray in this way. He's buried inside me to the hilt now, and he's waiting for me to adjust.

"Gray, move. It doesn't hurt; it feels incredibly good- ahh!" He's moving now, slowly at first. His cock slips in and out so easily - he's really used tons of lotion. When he brushes my prostate, I cry out and dig my heels into his buttocks to make him move faster, and he complies. He fucks me in earnest now, hitting my prostate with nearly every thrust. He's panting and letting out little whimpers. Is he trying to stifle the sounds he's making?

"Please don't hold back. Ah- I want to hear you."

His thrusts become even more erratic and the bed frame makes screeching sounds of protest. It should be embarrassing thinking about all the people around us who can probably hear us, but I don't give a damn right now. I feel pure bliss and Gray's no longer trying to hold back the beautiful sounds he's making. He's feeling just as good as I am and that makes it even better. I think I can come untouched if he keeps going like this, fucking me into the mattress like a rabbit. But then he stops abruptly and reaches between our bodies to take my cock in hand.

"Natsu. I can't hold it- much longer."

He starts stroking up and down my cock and resumes moving his hips in an agonizingly slow rhythm. His hand is moving much faster and it's too much. I cry out as my orgasm takes over. Gray's thrusting becomes frantic as my muscles tighten around his cock, and then he's also coming with my name on his lips, shivers racking his whole body.

I've made a mess on my chest and abdomen, probably also his hand, but Gray doesn't seem to care. When his orgasm wears out, he lets his body sink down onto mine, smearing my cum all over his own front in the process. He just hums contently and rests his head in the crook of my neck. His penis is slowly shrinking inside my ass and it's a wonderful feeling. I wonder if it would be even better if there was no condom separating his skin from mine. It must be better. I want to feel him like that one day. I bring my hand to the back of his head and card through his soft and a bit sweaty hair. This is just perfect. I could lay here like this forever with Gray.

"Natsu, there's something... I need to tell you."

His voice sounds tired and a bit sad. A red alarm sign flashes before my inner eye and I'm instantly worried about him and what he needs to tell me. He doesn't move away from me, he just keeps talking with his lips brushing over the skin of my neck.

"I told you once that I'm not gay and that's the truth. And I'm not just looking for some sexual adventure with you or something. I feel like a total dick for not asking you before what exactly it is that you want from me, but I was afraid to know. I still am."

Not gay, okay. Looking for more than just sex. That's fine by me. More than fine. "Then... are you bisexual?"

"No. Have you ever heard of 'demisexual'?"

I shake my head.

"It means basically that I don't feel sexually attracted to anyone, regardless of the gender, unless... I form a strong emotional connection with somebody. My whole life I thought I was asexual... But then I got to know you better, and since a month or so ago I feel sexually attracted to you. So I did some research... And what I am is called demisexual. I've been hiding it from you... I wanted to make sure it's real and also because I was- _am_ afraid that you don't feel the same..."

Everything he's telling me sounds absolutely wonderful to me. "And? Is it?"

I can feel him blinking; his eyelashes tickle my skin. "What?"

"Real. Is it real? Y- your... uh, attraction?"

He giggles. "You're still asking me that now? I thought I made it quite obvious."

I can feel my face flame. "That's not what I was trying to get at."

He sighs in defeat. "You really want to hear me say it, don't you. Fine... I... I love you."

He's stopped breathing and I can feel his heavy heartbeat against my chest. "I love you, too." He releases his breath and lifts his head. I think he's going to kiss me, but instead he reaches for the light switch and turns it on. His soft penis slips out of me because of the movement and it makes me shiver. It's bright and I need to close my eyes for a moment. When I open them again, I see Gray's face raw with emotion. His eyes have welled up.

"C- can you say that again, please?"

I'm a bit confused, but I could never reject a plea from him. "I love you, ice princess. I've loved you for a long time, probably from the very first moment I saw you." He bites his lower lip and I can see that it's trembling. He's overwhelmed. Why? Didn't he expect that I'm in love with him?

He blinks back his tears and smiles at me happily. "Thank god. I thought that maybe you're interested only in my body. I mean, you wanted to put money into my pants the first time we met... You thought I was a stripper and you wanted to-"

"Stop right there! I was an idiot, I know that. An ignorant idiot. But sex was never my final goal with you. Of course that's part of it, but what I really want is a relationship with you. One that lasts..."

He's smiling at me even wider now. "I want that, too. The next time when we have sex, I want the lights on as well. I might even dance for you, since you really seemed to like it."

And with that, he leans down and puts his soft lips on mine.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> It's my first time writing a fic in 1st person POV, please let me know what you think about it!
> 
> [Follow me on tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/chiyala)


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